Okqy so I've decided. I will take a risk and muster up my courage to send the message tomorrow.


At first I was angry and sad, thinking why hadn't it happened yet, why am I still waiting. And how I willed myself to not think about it and I kept pusing the blame to the other side.


And then it kind of hit me that it was me who was stopping it all. Because I had taken on this passive attitude and kept thinking that all I had to do was to sit back and wait and it'll come to me. And I really had ot done anything at all. It was always the other side who did the advancing and I do like it. And I want it back. And I understand that this passive attitude of mine has been very irritating or put offish. Yeah. I mean, we don't sit back and wait for things to come to us right? We're supposed to fight for it!


So I shall take this plunge and it might be off great height. And I may fall off my high horse and get myself injured or something but hey, at least I see blood right? Harhar. So yes! Iam gonna do it tomorrow. I just hope it's not my nightly high talking here and hope I won't chicken out. Matte black nails crossed.